The University of Phoenix Stadium, the home of our beloved Cardinals, opens its doors for tons of other sports. In recent years they have hosted the COPA America soccer tournament, the Final Four...now that we think about it, perhaps the UoP Stadium is a breeding ground of controversy.
Avoiding the drama? Not to worry, you can catch a hockey game and even a few WWE matches at the Gila River Arena. It is home to the Arizona Coyotes. Maybe hockey's not your game but think about it... there is ice, Zambonis, penalty boxes, punching, skate stomping and a lot of blood… how is hockey not your game?
On the other hand, there is always America's favorite pastime, baseball, if all that cold blood gets to you. During spring training Camelback Ranch hosts both the Chicago White Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers. Even though the spring season is not very long you might be able to catch a Triple-A game, which is usually more fun anyway.
Maybe grab Goose and spend a day with your egos writing checks your bodies can't cash. With a lot of luck and a bit of hustling, you might be able to swing a visit to Luke Air Force Base. Hell, you might even end up flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong.
Or is the wifey over Tom Cruise? Aren’t we all? Well, drop her off for some shopping while you and the boys catch the game. She can start with Historic Downtown Glendale. There are tons of gift shops and antique stores, built into historic Glendale homes. If she’s lucky she'll catch one of the dozens of festivals held there every year, from A Chocolate Affair to their Christmas Glendale Glitter. Its all of that Gilmore Girls crap most women pine for. Then she can head out to Westgate, right next to UoP Stadium, when she is all done there you can take her to bed or lose her forever.
If you don’t like sports... wait that's not a thing, nevermind. If you have the unfortunate timing of being in town during an athletic dry spell, then stock up at Cabelas and hit the outdoors.
If you feel like going Mach-2 with your hair on fire, take a family hike through the Petroglyph Preserve and marvel at drawings that look like your 3 year old made them. But since they were done hundreds of years ago they are actually the coolest thing out there.
Thunderbird Conservation Park has more strenuous hiking to offer. There are eight trails to choose from in the 1,185-acre park.
On the flip side, Xeriscape Botanical Gardens is an easy walk that shows off the lush foliage that you can only find in Arizona. Right next to the garden is Sahuaro Ranch Park. This is a great place to visit with the family, they have picnic areas, soccer fields, volleyball courts, and playgrounds.
We don’t even need to talk about Wet N Wild. Why? ‘Cause it’s classified. Classified... it means I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you. Let's just say there's a lot to do, so get out there and experience life before you get caught in someone's jet wash and your best friend dies in your arms because he forgot to watch the canopy.