CLEANING UP A BACKYARD AND BUILDING YOUR OWN FURNITURE
When your backyard has turned into shambles it's time to step up. You can either waste thousands of dollars on wicker ware and spend your afternoons having tea and crumpets surrounded by vases of lilacs and daisies.
You’ll have to buy a top hat, start calling everybody chap and governor. Say foolish things like "cheerio mate" and "Bob’s your uncle." After a couple of months, you’ll be gutted when the wicker frays and splits, and all you’ll be left with is a pile of wicker yarn that looks like a dogs chew toy.
Or you can be an American about it and build your own backyard furniture. None of that wicker damp squib here, just good old solid wood.
Siphon off a little bit of that Tax Return before your wife sees it and grab some power tools. Be a man about it and get a sabre saw, and a nail gun, the machine gun of tools. So what if nail gun injuries racked up over $300 million in medical costs last year. And snatch an oxygen-acetylene torch while you're at just because fire is the dog's bollocks.
You can make this all American, manly outdoor couch using just a few pallets. Take two and attached them to make the seat and back, then add legs and arms rest. Send the wife to grab some cushions and pillows - no flower patterns this isn't a toff's couch - and you're on your way to the perfect patio experience.
See a complete walk through at: https://www.betenoirechocolates.com/outdoor-sofa-plans/wood-patio-sectional-how-to-make-outdoor-furniture-pallet-wood-bench
Next add a little framing around an extra pallet, fill in the gaps and add some legs and you got yourself a table. After you spent the afternoon barbecuing you can sit and enjoy your banger and spuds in the great outdoors.
images by 'Live from Julie's House'
See a complete walkthough at: https://livefromjulieshouse.com/diy-pallet-table-13-easy-outdoor-diy-projects-upcycles/
Finally, you’ll need a place to enjoy a King Lear while you wait for the Weber Smokey Mountain to finish cooking the brisket. Show off your newly developed man skills by building this ace bar. It requires a little more skill to work on it sober not when your legless or else you’ll fall arse over tit working it out.
images by 'My Carpentry'
See a complete walkthough at: https://www.mycarpentry.com/outdoor-bar-furniture.html
Stop being all mouth and no trousers, take a fortnight and bodge your dodgy patio into something you can be chuffed about.
(Roughly translated to American ... make some cool furniture and throw a party.)
Gutted - disappointed
Damp Squib - something that fails
Dog’s bollocks - awesome
Toff - upper class person
Banger & spuds - brats and potatoes
King Lear - beer
Ace - excellent
Legless - drunk
Arse over tit - fall down
All mouth no trousers - all talk no action
Fortnight - two weeks
Bodge - repair
Dodgy - lame
Chuffed - pleased about
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