SAVING THE DAY WITH QUICK AND EASY PICKUPS – BECAUSE LIFE IS BETTER WITHOUT JUNK
Decluttering your house is like the human version of period cramps, it sucks, it hurts and it feels is like its never-ending. Because once you’ve cleared out all your junk, garbage, clutter and crap from your house you still have to deal with the hassle of getting rid of it all. Lucky for you, we’re here, and we like dealing with crap.
We have the very best service you can imagine. One day your junk is tormenting your neighbors by piling up on the curb and the next thing you know it's gone. Like little junk fairies made it magically disappear. If you happen to see any junk fairies, you might want to start easing up on the early afternoon happy hours.
Just give us a call or hit the website to schedule a pickup. The price you see is the price you get and you won't have to worry about hidden fees. Because we’re such strapping young men we don’t care how much junk you have. There is practically no limit on size or weight.
The best part is you don’t even have to be there. We’ll haul it all away and then like gentlemen we’ll clean up afterward. We’ll even text you a pic when we're done so you can have a little sneak peek into what awaits you at home. And since you aren’t there you don’t have to worry about what you throw in there. We will never associate you with the weird crap you tossed out and we certainly won’t judge you.
Remember when you adopted that parakeet because you felt bad that it had to live its whole life without hands? Now that you lost the parakeet you can just toss the cage.
Or the time you woke up after blacking out and found your microwave had caught on fire and there was a half a package of raw Oscar Mayers in your hand? The charred remains the microwave can sit unashamed on the curb.
It can sit right next to the mattress you are getting rid of before your new girlfriend comes over. We won't even wonder at what those stains are. Of course, you don't still wet the bed, we didn't say otherwise.
If you have a lot of embarrassing stuff in there we can even schedule a same day pick up, so no one else gets a good look at it either.
Once you get home you can relax on the couch, binge watch Stranger Things and revel in the glory of knowing all your junk is taken care of; it feels almost as good as scratching your balls with the remote control.
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